But then I realized that I don't even know what is up. Here's what I do know: my sister Rhonda is dying. Dying from what? you ask. I don't know. How can you not know? It's a Family Of Origin dynamic that I've mostly come to terms with. I still don't like it, but I gave up trying to change / fix it years ago. Well, mostly.
My mom has been to all of my sister's doctor appointments and hospital visits. She has been my filter for my sister's state of being. That's an imperfect system, at best. I've know them both for 45 years and know that they think they are doing right by withholding information from me and her children. They think they are protecting us from some hurt that only they can bear. And maybe a little Information Is Power control going on, too.
Rhonda turned 46 over this past weekend. The closest thing resembling a diagnosis has been that she has ulcers. According to WebMD, it could be severe ulcers. At any rate, she is in a rapid decline right now and down to about 90 pounds. She has an appointment on Wednesday to see if she can be admitted to an inpatient rehab facility so they can get her health and weight back up.
Sometimes a loss of a loved one is so hard because it takes away the last sliver of hope for that relationship. For what could be, in time. For the healing of old wounds. For the future. So, if you've read this far, please say a prayer for Rhonda and her family, and me.
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